Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Moderator comment: How about another smile to lighten your anxiety. Provided from a friend who is dealing with new stresses in her life.

Quote

Heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives.

So I looked through the house to find all the things I've started but hadn't finished...so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now.

Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum x 🤣

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Moderator_02 said:

How about some fun for a change?

I’m still laughing. Find myself singing that song now as I wash my hands. Wash is not the right word. Scrub would be better. Several times a day.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Moderator_02 said:

Moderator comment: How about another smile to lighten your anxiety. Provided from a friend who is dealing with new stresses in her life.

 

This deserves an award for comic creativity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

thumbnail.jpg

“Abril es un mes durísimo, es un mes que todavía vamos a peor”, fueron las palabras finales del doctor Xavier Sáez-Llorens en la conferencia de prensa del Ministerio de Salud (Minsa), Caja del Seguro Social (CSS) y Ministerio de Seguridad (Minseg) sobre el coronavirus.

" April will be a very hard month.   I will  will get worse.  "  Dr Xavier Saez-llorens , Infection Desease advisor to the Panama Dept of Health

Stay home as much as you can.  When out , be mindful and careful to distance, don't touch your face.  Organize.  The LESS we are out at all the better.  Tuck in.  We'll be OK.     Alison

Edited by Brundageba
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just received from a friend who lives half time in Boquete and half time in the US, enjoys golf. They got stuck in the US, and can't get back home right now. Somewhat lengthy, but it put a smile on my face.

Quote

March Madness is cancelled, the NBA is shut down, the Masters is postponed, and my Aunt Marge’s senior bowling has even thrown in the towel. Now restaurants and bars are closed, and our 40-handicap governor is threatening to shut down all entertainment facilities including golf courses. I have not tested positive, but the coronavirus is killing me.

There is nowhere to go and nothing to do. My wife suggested we take a walk, but I don’t walk anywhere unless I have a golf club in my hand, and it’s cart path only. My kids have a restraining order on us and won’t let us come within 200 yards of the grandchildren. And we can no longer eat out, but when we tried to cook at home, there were cobwebs in the oven.

The network channels are inundated with coverage of the virus. The golf channel has been showing reruns of old tournaments, which are almost as riveting as watching my brother-in-law’s video of his family camping trip to Yellowstone. And my wife is so desperate for something to do, she is even considering sex, and maybe even with me.

Paranoia is off the tracks. Before the shutdown, we were having dinner at a local bar. I let out a loud sneeze and everyone at the surrounding tables started yelling "check please." My stock portfolio is plummeting and most of our cash is currently invested in toilet paper. I am washing my hands 137 times a day. I don’t touch anyone. I don’t even touch myself. I have been using tongs to go to the bathroom. This has to stop.

Our society and economy have been crippled by a microscopic virus. Scientists have not yet determined the exact origin but have narrowed it down to a Chinese fish market or Rosie O’Donnell’s bathtub. And no one is sure how to prevent or cure it. In the past, the ways to prevent contracting a contagious disease were simple: don’t eat in restaurants with cat on the menu and don’t date my college roommate’s sister.

I don’t consider myself to be in the high risk category. I have been building up my immune system by eating one meal per day at MacDonald’s for the last 25 years. Germs just slide through me. My only pre-existing condition is an inability to launch a golf ball further than 180 yards. And, according to the CDC, symptoms of the coronavirus are sweats, dizziness, and trouble breathing, which I experience whenever I am standing over a 3-foot putt. I can handle it.

 So, I proposed to my regular foursome the idea of escaping from our self-imposed Stalag 17 and venturing outside for a round of golf. Everyone recognized the danger and severity of the situation. But when faced with the decision to remain sequestered with our wives or to risk contracting a deadly virus, it was a no-brainer. Every man opted to play golf.

Our foursome does not pose a medical risk to mankind. My friend, George is virus free. Social distancing has not been a problem for him. Other than us, he doesn’t have any friends. Bob, my neighbor is a urologist who has been working from home for several weeks. He has developed a way to do remote prostate exams by having patients sit on their cell phone. And our other partner, Jerry tested himself with a kit he bought online. However, he thinks he may have gotten the wrong kit. It showed no traces of the virus but indicated that he was pregnant with twins.

The federal government has established guidelines for social engagement. For example, you must stay at least 6 feet apart and no more than 10 people are allowed at a gathering, which means Patrick Reed’s fan club can still meet. In addition, our foursome drafted our own specific set of rules for Pandemic Golf.

Rules of Play:

  • Hazmat suits are permitted. As an alternative, one can wear a college mascot costume or big bunny pajamas.
  • Masks are not permitted, because we would look more like stagecoach robbers than a foursome.
  • Leave the flag in. And to avoid retrieving balls from the hole, any putt shorter than Lebron James is good.
  • Ride in separate golf carts and don’t come closer to another player than a fully extended ball retriever.
  • Don’t touch another player’s balls. This is always good advice.
  • No high fives. Fortunately, we seldom have a reason.
  • No petting the geese or the cart girl.
  • Don’t use the spot-a-pot. More disease in there than in all of Wuhan China.
  • No excuses. Slicing or hooking are not side effects of the coronavirus.
  • Make an online bank transfer to pay off your bets for the day.
  • Straddle the sprinkler on the 18th hole before getting into the car.

These rules and restrictions adequately protected us from contamination. Unfortunately, there is no vaccine for bad golf. I had trouble gripping the club with oven mittens, but it was an enjoyable afternoon which ended way too soon. There were no handshakes on the 18th green, no beers at the bar, and we drove home separately.

As the pandemic plays through, it is giving us a glimpse into our inevitable future where all meals are delivered, all entertainment comes through the TV screen, and all human interaction is through our cell phone. Where schooling is online at home, exercise is on a stationary bike in our basement, medical testing is done at drive thru windows, and colonoscopies are performed at Jiffy Lube.

The world is changing. It is becoming less interpersonal as technology consumes us. So now that we have time on our hands, everyone should take a moment to cherish this fading era, when friends still get together to hit a little ball around an open field for no good reason other than to enjoy the companionship of their fellow man.

 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

I think this will bring back memories and as well...it's on topic 

Alison

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

From my BFF in our former home state California ( whose leaders I think are doing a good job, although we are happier to be in Boquete).

IMG-20200411-WA0003.jpg.aa84d7fa2c7f9351bbc369c0da8aa5fe.jpg

 

Edited by Moderator_02
To remove US political content.
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I immediately laughed and thought about a few people I know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I won't name them because they're litiginous.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/4/2020 at 2:51 PM, Brundageba said:

thumbnail.jpg

“Abril es un mes durísimo, es un mes que todavía vamos a peor”, fueron las palabras finales del doctor Xavier Sáez-Llorens en la conferencia de prensa del Ministerio de Salud (Minsa), Caja del Seguro Social (CSS) y Ministerio de Seguridad (Minseg) sobre el coronavirus.

" April will be a very hard month.   I will  will get worse.  "  Dr Xavier Saez-llorens , Infection Desease advisor to the Panama Dept of Health

Stay home as much as you can.  When out , be mindful and careful to distance, don't touch your face.  Organize.  The LESS we are out at all the better.  Tuck in.  We'll be OK.     Alison

“April is the cruelest month.”—T.S. Eliot, “The Wasteland “

 

 

 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you don't like the long lines for the grocery stores right now, think about the lines for the beauty salons, barber shops, and manicure/pedicure spas after they reopen. 🤪

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sent by friends from Boquete who now live in Florida.... personally loved Day 13 ... now if there only Was some wine.

Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!

Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last

Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??

Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.

Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!

Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.

Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!

Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have No clue how this place is still in business.

Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going Bar hopping.

Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a Spider today. Seems nice. He’s a Web Designer.

Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”

Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.

Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.

Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals led the Blue Jays 3–1.

Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

A Signal From Mother Earth

Posted 23/04/2020

cartoon-1.jpg

Every April 22 The International Day of Mother Earth  is celebrated and this year it does it resting from humans

In  2020 Mother Earth sends a cry for help. Definitely the planet has been suffering the consequences of human actions, which consciously or unconsciously destroy the environment.

In Australia, more than a billion animals died after the fires recorded from September 2019 to February 14 of this year, when they were completely extinguished.

The worst locust invasion in Kenya also occurred in February. In addition, in recent years the highest terrestrial temperatures have been recorded, and thus, there are endless changes and crises occurred in nature.

However, the most prominent and recent is the health pandemic strongly related to the health of our ecosystem, as reported by the United Nations (UN) on its website.

 

https://www.newsroompanama.com/environment/a-signal-from-mother-earth-1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...